firstly... my heartfelt apologies at being possibly the slackest blogger in the history of bloggers... this will probably continue, I'm afraid to say...but I'll try my best

secondly, I just want to completely refute anything that Mista Zeds may have mentioned about me and any Norwegion sailors - or indeed, just about anything at all. That is, I think I do, as I'm not actually 100% sure what refute means

I also would like to take this opportunity to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for nominating me for the bloscars
but please don't vote for me, as I completely don't deserve it - I'm never here after all.

big love to you all
xoxo

Yesterday I woke up back in my mum's house. Back in my home town, where I was born and grew up. I spent the afternoon with the first guy I ever went out with. The battery ran out on my mobile so I had to use a PHONE BOX!!

I feel like I'm 13 again. It's wonderfully refreshing

Anyway guys, just wanted to say gbye and I love you all, I'm sorry but I'll be even slacker than usual at blogging over the next month due to circumstances beyond my control. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, and Juzzy, I'm SO totally on that blog year thing, you will receive it very shortly in true Snail style.

Mwah!

xoxo

just a quickie

I was round at my mum's the other day and noticed a HUGE pile of yellow pages, phone books etc. I asked her why she didn't chuck them out... they were going back years... she said 'oh no, you can't, they're the property of the post office...'

My utmost aplogies for my slackness of late, I know, I'm a Very Bad Blogger. I sail to distant shores very soon, so I can't see the situation getting any better

To make up for it, I would like to perform a little festive dance, just for you

http://www.elfyourself.com/?userid=f6e983f9dc9c4962423b8c2G20061209

Feel free to steal it to your hearts content! I want to see every blogger elfed up by first thing tomorrow morning, or there'll be some questions being asked

Merry Christmas, one and all!

... The first in an occasional series.

Last night I met up with an ex-boyfriend. We went out together years ago and have stayed really good friends. He now has a 9 year old son. When my mum heard I'd been to see him she started waxing all sentimental, saying,

'Ahhh just think Lee, he could have been your little boy!'.

Great, thanks for that mum, just what a 36 year old with a biological clock ticking rapidly toward Armageddon wants to hear...

But too late, by now she was in full Ex Boyfriend Flow... leaning back her eyes went all misty as she said,

'Now, what about that last one...ahhh wasn't he lovely...you'll never be able to replace....'

... her brow became furrowed as she stared perplexed into the distance...

'Er... what's his name again?'

...

...later that same day...

I informed mama of a Native American Flute Workshop I am attending this weekend. (Yes, I really am as mad as Juzzzy says).

She regarded me suspiciously.

'Be careful they don't put none of them drugs in your flute. I've heard about those Native Americans and their peace pipes.'

God luv 'er

yes, I thought of this title up all by myself. Juzzzy didn't help me or nuthin. *sits back proudly and files nails*

click here to see Daggers in action!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dno4kefXCVQ

and here we are post-performance, helping Dag to unwind as he relaxes backstage. I gave him an Indian head massage while Zeds provided a foot rub. What? Oh, yes, he always requests his dressing room to be filled with large yellow bins. What can I say? We have to humour these rock stars and their little idiosyncracies. Still, it's marginally less trouble than removing all the red M&Ms.

and yes, your eyes aren't deceiving you, that is a bottle of water in Juzzzy's hands

GSOH essential

legs optional

(just killing time while waiting for the vids to load

peering through the murky haze , Snail fights her way through the dusty cobwebs, only to come upon a mournful Dags, full ashtray and empty Jack Daniels bottle by his side, playing Stairway to Heaven

so....
you've left us all alone to fend for ourselves huh? and then you telephone to boast and taunt about the amazing time you're having... yeh yeh it's ok I'll stay here and tend to the housework, walk the dogs, water the plants etc etc. I don't mind. *sigh*

ps
you're all gettin it on, aren't you? blogmeet has turned into a crazed alcohol-fuelled orgy, hasn't it?
oh, I can't WAIT to get the goss when you get back

ha HA!!!

*takes a break from sweeping fireplace, leans on broom and sparks up a fag...*

"so... by the end of this weekend I will have driven back and forth from North Wales to Manchester a total of 3 times.... then Monday morning I drive to Birmingham, whereupon I will spend the next 4 days locked away in a rehearsal studio with a pair of Bulgarian twins (twins, Basil ) and a bunch of dancers from Majorca... only to emerge, shellshocked and disshevelled, ready to hotfoot it up to Chester to attend my graduation ceremony... after posing for obligatory pictures with fake scroll in hand and dodgy looking hat perched on head, I will continue on with another weekend of gigs, after which I will race down to Southampton on Monday morning, only to race back up to Blackpool on Tuesday...
somewhere in the middle of all this, Blogmeet will occur....
if anyone has any bright ideas on how I can fit it into my schedule, I'm all ears...
otherwise, please do me a favour and video as much of the shenanigans as possible..."

*stubs fag out on Nipper's beak, heaves a sigh, and gets back to work...*

PS - check out the ads at the top - VOODOO SPELLS!!! they obviously know me well