The Snail Trail

... The first in an occasional series.

Last night I met up with an ex-boyfriend. We went out together years ago and have stayed really good friends. He now has a 9 year old son. When my mum heard I'd been to see him she started waxing all sentimental, saying,

'Ahhh just think Lee, he could have been your little boy!'.

Great, thanks for that mum, just what a 36 year old with a biological clock ticking rapidly toward Armageddon wants to hear...

But too late, by now she was in full Ex Boyfriend Flow... leaning back her eyes went all misty as she said,

'Now, what about that last one...ahhh wasn't he lovely...you'll never be able to replace....'

... her brow became furrowed as she stared perplexed into the distance...

'Er... what's his name again?'

...

...later that same day...

I informed mama of a Native American Flute Workshop I am attending this weekend. (Yes, I really am as mad as Juzzzy says).

She regarded me suspiciously.

'Be careful they don't put none of them drugs in your flute. I've heard about those Native Americans and their peace pipes.'

God luv 'er

yes, I thought of this title up all by myself. Juzzzy didn't help me or nuthin. *sits back proudly and files nails*

click here to see Daggers in action!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dno4kefXCVQ

and here we are post-performance, helping Dag to unwind as he relaxes backstage. I gave him an Indian head massage while Zeds provided a foot rub. What? Oh, yes, he always requests his dressing room to be filled with large yellow bins. What can I say? We have to humour these rock stars and their little idiosyncracies. Still, it's marginally less trouble than removing all the red M&Ms.

and yes, your eyes aren't deceiving you, that is a bottle of water in Juzzzy's hands

GSOH essential

legs optional

(just killing time while waiting for the vids to load

peering through the murky haze , Snail fights her way through the dusty cobwebs, only to come upon a mournful Dags, full ashtray and empty Jack Daniels bottle by his side, playing Stairway to Heaven

so....
you've left us all alone to fend for ourselves huh? and then you telephone to boast and taunt about the amazing time you're having... yeh yeh it's ok I'll stay here and tend to the housework, walk the dogs, water the plants etc etc. I don't mind. *sigh*

ps
you're all gettin it on, aren't you? blogmeet has turned into a crazed alcohol-fuelled orgy, hasn't it?
oh, I can't WAIT to get the goss when you get back

ha HA!!!

*takes a break from sweeping fireplace, leans on broom and sparks up a fag...*

"so... by the end of this weekend I will have driven back and forth from North Wales to Manchester a total of 3 times.... then Monday morning I drive to Birmingham, whereupon I will spend the next 4 days locked away in a rehearsal studio with a pair of Bulgarian twins (twins, Basil ) and a bunch of dancers from Majorca... only to emerge, shellshocked and disshevelled, ready to hotfoot it up to Chester to attend my graduation ceremony... after posing for obligatory pictures with fake scroll in hand and dodgy looking hat perched on head, I will continue on with another weekend of gigs, after which I will race down to Southampton on Monday morning, only to race back up to Blackpool on Tuesday...
somewhere in the middle of all this, Blogmeet will occur....
if anyone has any bright ideas on how I can fit it into my schedule, I'm all ears...
otherwise, please do me a favour and video as much of the shenanigans as possible..."

*stubs fag out on Nipper's beak, heaves a sigh, and gets back to work...*

PS - check out the ads at the top - VOODOO SPELLS!!! they obviously know me well

I'm starting to get into this blogging malarkey

SPILL YOUR GUTS

Q: First thing you did this morning?
A: yoga in the garden. like always. although my tooties are gettin a bit frosty lately

Q: Last thing you ate?
A: watermelon

Q: Do you believe in long distance relationships?
A: they seem to be the only ones I get, usually.
can't stand em though

Q: Where is the last place you went?
A: Hythe, Kent

Q: Who is the last person you called?
A: My agent

Q: Been cheated on?
A: not that I know of. I'm probably too stupid to find out

Q: Do you think that someone is thinking about you right now?
A: probly

Q: Choose one to have (love, beauty, creativity)?
A: love - it encompasses the other 2.

Q: Do you wish on stars?
A: yep

Q: Does it work?
A: yep.
but sometimes it gets stuck in the wrong dimension

Q: When did you last cry?
A: yesterday. I'm very good at crying

Q: Are you a friendly person?
A: tremendously

Q: Are you keeping a secret from the world?
A: might be

Q: What were you doing at 9 last night?
A: hanging out in a coven with my fellow witches. No, really.

Q: Last person you talked to in person?
A: fellow witch. see above.

Q: When is the last time you saw your dad?
A: Saturday night. He was pissed. And really funny. check youtube for footage

Q: Look to your left.
A: I see a map of the world. there's a butterfly stuck on Alaska, in the hope that it will get me there one day.

Q: Ever cried yourself to sleep?
A: yep. I think 2 nights ago was the last time. I told you, I'm a great cryer

Q: Ever cried on your friends shoulder?
A: see above

Q: Song that makes you cry?
A: anything by Eva Cassidy. especially over the rainbow

Q: Are you a normally happy person?
A: extremely. although you wouldn't think it with all the crying that's been going on in this list

Q: Is your self-esteem low?
A: depends what mood I'm in. and who I'm with.

Q: What color are your eyes?
A: green

Q: Long or Short Hair?
A: shorter since I got it cut