http://escargot.blog.co.uk/en-USMokoFeed10http://escargot.blog.co.uk/http://data5.blog.de/design/preview/70/9931a1862e4ec38d3321a015fcfe70_160x200.jpghttp://escargot.blog.co.uk/2008/01/14/jetset_bloopers~3576018/tag:escargot.blog.co.uk,2008-01-14:/2008/01/14/jetset_bloopers~3576018/Mon, 14 Jan 2008 17:47:55 +0100 <p> <small> <a href="http://escargot.blog.co.uk/2008/01/14/jetset_bloopers~3576018/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>jet-sethttp://escargot.blog.co.uk/2008/01/14/jetset_bloopers~3576018/#commentshttp://escargot.blog.co.uk/2007/02/15/hey_there~1747212/tag:escargot.blog.co.uk,2007-02-15:/2007/02/15/hey_there~1747212/Thu, 15 Feb 2007 19:35:46 +0100 <p>firstly... my heartfelt apologies at being possibly the slackest blogger in the history of bloggers... this will probably continue, I'm afraid to say...but I'll try my best <img src="/img/smilies/icon_cool.gif" alt="B)" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>secondly, I just want to completely refute anything that Mista Zeds may have mentioned about me and any Norwegion sailors - or indeed, just about <em>anything</em> at all. That is, I think I do, as I'm not actually 100% sure what refute means <img src="/img/smilies/icon_confused.gif" alt=":-/" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p>I also would like to take this opportunity to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for nominating me for the bloscars <img src="/img/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" class="middle" border="0"><br> but <em>please</em> don't vote for me, as I completely don't deserve it - I'm never here after all.</p> <p>big love to you all <img src="/img/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" class="middle" border="0"><br> xoxo </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://escargot.blog.co.uk/2007/02/15/hey_there~1747212/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://escargot.blog.co.uk/2007/02/15/hey_there~1747212/#commentshttp://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/12/30/regression_therapy~1493839/tag:escargot.blog.co.uk,2006-12-30:/2006/12/30/regression_therapy~1493839/Sat, 30 Dec 2006 13:29:26 +0100 <p>Yesterday I woke up back in my mum's house. Back in my home town, where I was born and grew up. I spent the afternoon with the first guy I ever went out with. The battery ran out on my mobile so I had to use a PHONE BOX!! </p> <p>I feel like I'm 13 again. It's wonderfully refreshing <img src="/img/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>Anyway guys, just wanted to say gbye and I love you all, I'm sorry but I'll be even slacker than usual at blogging over the next month due to circumstances beyond my control. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, and Juzzy, I'm SO totally on that blog year thing, you will receive it very shortly in true Snail style.</p> <p>Mwah! </p> <p>xoxo </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/12/30/regression_therapy~1493839/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/12/30/regression_therapy~1493839/#commentshttp://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/12/21/ttmms_part~1462977/tag:escargot.blog.co.uk,2006-12-21:/2006/12/21/ttmms_part~1462977/Thu, 21 Dec 2006 01:29:02 +0100 <p>just a quickie</p> <p>I was round at my mum's the other day and noticed a HUGE pile of yellow pages, phone books etc. I asked her why she didn't chuck them out... they were going back years... she said 'oh no, you can't, they're the property of the post office...'</p> <p><img src="/img/smilies/grayyes.gif" alt=":yes:" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/12/21/ttmms_part~1462977/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>mumhttp://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/12/21/ttmms_part~1462977/#commentshttp://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/12/21/yuletide_greetings~1462957/tag:escargot.blog.co.uk,2006-12-21:/2006/12/21/yuletide_greetings~1462957/Thu, 21 Dec 2006 01:18:57 +0100 <p>My utmost aplogies for my slackness of late, I know, I'm a Very Bad Blogger. I sail to distant shores very soon, so I can't see the situation getting any better <img src="/img/smilies/icon_rolleyes.gif" alt=":roll:" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>To make up for it, I would like to perform a little festive dance, just for you</p> <p><a href="http://www.elfyourself.com/?userid=f6e983f9dc9c4962423b8c2G20061209">http://www.elfyourself.com/?userid=f6e983f9dc9c4962423b8c2G20061209</a></p> <p>Feel free to steal it to your hearts content! I want to see every blogger elfed up by first thing tomorrow morning, or there'll be some questions being asked <img src="/img/smilies/icon_wth.gif" alt="|-|" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>Merry Christmas, one and all! <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/12/21/yuletide_greetings~1462957/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>elfhttp://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/12/21/yuletide_greetings~1462957/#commentshttp://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/11/23/the_things_my_mum_says~1362827/tag:escargot.blog.co.uk,2006-11-23:/2006/11/23/the_things_my_mum_says~1362827/Thu, 23 Nov 2006 23:59:30 +0100 <p>... The first in an occasional series.</p> <p>Last night I met up with an ex-boyfriend. We went out together years ago and have stayed really good friends. He now has a 9 year old son. When my mum heard I'd been to see him she started waxing all sentimental, saying, </p> <p>'Ahhh just think Lee, he could have been <em>your</em> little boy!'. </p> <p>Great, thanks for that mum, just what a 36 year old with a biological clock ticking rapidly toward Armageddon wants to hear... </p> <p>But too late, by now she was in full Ex Boyfriend Flow... leaning back her eyes went all misty as she said,</p> <p>'Now, what about that last one...ahhh wasn't he lovely...you'll <em>never</em> be able to replace....' </p> <p>... her brow became furrowed as she stared perplexed into the distance... </p> <p>'Er... what's his name again?'</p> <p>...</p> <p>...<em>later that same day</em>...</p> <p>I informed mama of a Native American Flute Workshop I am attending this weekend. (Yes, I really <em>am</em> as mad as Juzzzy says).</p> <p>She regarded me suspiciously. </p> <p>'Be careful they don't put none of them drugs in your flute. I've heard about those Native Americans and their peace pipes.'</p> <p>God luv 'er </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/11/23/the_things_my_mum_says~1362827/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/11/23/the_things_my_mum_says~1362827/#commentshttp://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/11/18/daggers_plays_pop~1342105/tag:escargot.blog.co.uk,2006-11-18:/2006/11/18/daggers_plays_pop~1342105/Sat, 18 Nov 2006 03:48:17 +0100 <p>yes, I thought of this title up all by myself. Juzzzy didn't help me or nuthin. *sits back proudly and files nails*</p> <p><em>click here to see Daggers in action! </em> </p> <p><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dno4kefXCVQ">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dno4kefXCVQ</a></p> <p>and here we are post-performance, helping Dag to unwind as he relaxes backstage. I gave him an Indian head massage while Zeds provided a foot rub. What? Oh, yes, he always requests his dressing room to be filled with large yellow bins. What can I say? We have to humour these rock stars and their little idiosyncracies. Still, it's marginally less trouble than removing all the red M&Ms.<br> <a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/srv/media/media_item.php?item_ID=966702"><img src="http://data2.blog.de/media/702/966702_fb1e27a668_m.jpg" alt="S5000771" title="S5000771" vspace="5" hspace="5"></a></p> <p>and yes, your eyes aren't deceiving you, that is a <em>bottle of water</em> in Juzzzy's hands <img src="/img/smilies/icon_surprised.gif" alt=":o" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/11/18/daggers_plays_pop~1342105/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>daggerscavernhttp://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/11/18/daggers_plays_pop~1342105/#commentshttp://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/11/18/niche_product_seeks_similar~1342055/tag:escargot.blog.co.uk,2006-11-18:/2006/11/18/niche_product_seeks_similar~1342055/Sat, 18 Nov 2006 02:29:03 +0100 <p>GSOH essential</p> <p>legs optional</p> <p>(just killing time while waiting for the vids to load <img src="/img/smilies/graylaugh.gif" alt=":))" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/11/18/niche_product_seeks_similar~1342055/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/11/18/niche_product_seeks_similar~1342055/#commentshttp://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/11/12/a_word_from_home~1320873/tag:escargot.blog.co.uk,2006-11-12:/2006/11/12/a_word_from_home~1320873/Sun, 12 Nov 2006 04:33:24 +0100 <p><em>peering through the murky haze , Snail fights her way through the dusty cobwebs, only to come upon a mournful Dags, full ashtray and empty Jack Daniels bottle by his side, playing Stairway to Heaven</em></p> <p>so....<br> you've left us all alone to fend for ourselves huh? and then you telephone to boast and taunt about the amazing time you're having... yeh yeh it's ok I'll stay here and tend to the housework, walk the dogs, water the plants etc etc. I don't mind. *sigh*</p> <p>ps<br> you're all gettin it on, aren't you? blogmeet has turned into a crazed alcohol-fuelled orgy, hasn't it?<br> oh, I can't WAIT to get the goss when you get back</p> <p>ha HA!!! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/11/12/a_word_from_home~1320873/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>blogmeetorgyhttp://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/11/12/a_word_from_home~1320873/#commentshttp://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/11/05/why_snailerella_can_t_go_to_the_ball~1297848/tag:escargot.blog.co.uk,2006-11-05:/2006/11/05/why_snailerella_can_t_go_to_the_ball~1297848/Sun, 05 Nov 2006 15:20:18 +0100 <p>*takes a break from sweeping fireplace, leans on broom and sparks up a fag...*</p> <p>"so... by the end of this weekend I will have driven back and forth from North Wales to Manchester a total of 3 times.... then Monday morning I drive to Birmingham, whereupon I will spend the next 4 days locked away in a rehearsal studio with a pair of Bulgarian twins (twins, Basil <img src="/img/smilies/grayyes.gif" alt=":yes:" class="middle" border="0">) and a bunch of dancers from Majorca... only to emerge, shellshocked and disshevelled, ready to hotfoot it up to Chester to attend my graduation ceremony... after posing for obligatory pictures with fake scroll in hand and dodgy looking hat perched on head, I will continue on with another weekend of gigs, after which I will race down to Southampton on Monday morning, only to race back up to Blackpool on Tuesday...<br> somewhere in the middle of all this, Blogmeet will occur....<br> if anyone has any bright ideas on how I can fit it into my schedule, I'm all ears...<br> otherwise, please do me a favour and video as much of the shenanigans as possible..."</p> <p>*stubs fag out on Nipper's beak, heaves a sigh, and gets back to work...*</p> <p>PS - check out the ads at the top - VOODOO SPELLS!!! they obviously know me well <img src="/img/smilies/icon_twisted.gif" alt=":>" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/11/05/why_snailerella_can_t_go_to_the_ball~1297848/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>blogmeethttp://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/11/05/why_snailerella_can_t_go_to_the_ball~1297848/#commentshttp://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/11/01/listy_listy_list~1285404/tag:escargot.blog.co.uk,2006-11-01:/2006/11/01/listy_listy_list~1285404/Wed, 01 Nov 2006 18:32:46 +0100 <p>I'm starting to get into this blogging malarkey <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>SPILL YOUR GUTS</p> <p>Q: First thing you did this morning?<br> A: yoga in the garden. like always. although my tooties are gettin a bit frosty lately </p> <p>Q: Last thing you ate?<br> A: watermelon</p> <p>Q: Do you believe in long distance relationships?<br> A: they seem to be the only ones I get, usually.<br> can't stand em though <img src="/img/smilies/icon_sad.gif" alt=":(" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>Q: Where is the last place you went?<br> A: Hythe, Kent</p> <p>Q: Who is the last person you called?<br> A: My agent</p> <p>Q: Been cheated on?<br> A: not that I know of. I'm probably too stupid to find out <img src="/img/smilies/icon_rolleyes.gif" alt=":roll:" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p>Q: Do you think that someone is thinking about you right now?<br> A: probly <img src="/img/smilies/icon_cool.gif" alt="B)" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>Q: Choose one to have (love, beauty, creativity)?<br> A: love - it encompasses the other 2.</p> <p>Q: Do you wish on stars?<br> A: yep</p> <p>Q: Does it work?<br> A: yep.<br> but sometimes it gets stuck in the wrong dimension </p> <p>Q: When did you last cry?<br> A: yesterday. I'm very good at crying <img src="/img/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p>Q: Are you a friendly person?<br> A: tremendously </p> <p>Q: Are you keeping a secret from the world?<br> A: might be <img src="/img/smilies/graysmilewinkgrin.gif" alt=";D" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>Q: What were you doing at 9 last night?<br> A: hanging out in a coven with my fellow witches. No, really.</p> <p>Q: Last person you talked to in person?<br> A: fellow witch. see above.</p> <p>Q: When is the last time you saw your dad?<br> A: Saturday night. He was pissed. And really funny. check youtube for footage <img src="/img/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>Q: Look to your left.<br> A: I see a map of the world. there's a butterfly stuck on Alaska, in the hope that it will get me there one day.</p> <p>Q: Ever cried yourself to sleep?<br> A: yep. I think 2 nights ago was the last time. I told you, I'm a great cryer <img src="/img/smilies/icon_biggrin.gif" alt=":D" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>Q: Ever cried on your friends shoulder?<br> A: <img src="/img/smilies/icon_rolleyes.gif" alt=":roll:" class="middle" border="0"> see above</p> <p>Q: Song that makes you cry?<br> A: anything by Eva Cassidy. especially over the rainbow <img src="/img/smilies/graycry.gif" alt=":`(" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>Q: Are you a normally happy person?<br> A: extremely. although you wouldn't think it with all the crying that's been going on in this list <img src="/img/smilies/icon_rolleyes.gif" alt=":roll:" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>Q: Is your self-esteem low?<br> A: depends what mood I'm in. and who I'm with.</p> <p>Q: What color are your eyes?<br> A: green</p> <p>Q: Long or Short Hair?<br> A: shorter since I got it cut</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/11/01/listy_listy_list~1285404/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/11/01/listy_listy_list~1285404/#commentshttp://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/10/31/wild_flowers~1279586/tag:escargot.blog.co.uk,2006-10-30:/2006/10/31/wild_flowers~1279586/Tue, 31 Oct 2006 00:35:20 +0100 <p>I looked out of the window on the bus today and saw a young boy walking down the road. His father (at least I assume it was his father) was walking next to him, pushing an old bicycle. They both looked pretty scruffy; kind of poor looking. The boy was carefully clutching a bunch of wild flowers that he must have picked from the fields at the side of the road. I wondered who they were for.. probably his mother. </p> <p>It's amazing how such simple scenes can reduce you to tears.<br> Mildly inconvenient, of course, when you're on the number 10 bus. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/10/31/wild_flowers~1279586/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/10/31/wild_flowers~1279586/#commentshttp://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/10/26/snail_and_zeddds_do_lunch~1262384/tag:escargot.blog.co.uk,2006-10-26:/2006/10/26/snail_and_zeddds_do_lunch~1262384/Thu, 26 Oct 2006 02:38:00 +0200 <p>Got problems with your love life?</p> <p>Worried about relationships?</p> <p>Why not talk to SNAIL!!!</p> <p>Not only will she give you crap and inneffectual advice - she will also put the whole thing on YouTube for the whole world to see - at no extra cost! Bonus!</p> <p>so<br> same time next week Juz? <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/10/26/snail_and_zeddds_do_lunch~1262384/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>juzzzysnailhttp://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/10/26/snail_and_zeddds_do_lunch~1262384/#commentshttp://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/10/14/wipes_tear_from_eye~1220217/tag:escargot.blog.co.uk,2006-10-14:/2006/10/14/wipes_tear_from_eye~1220217/Sat, 14 Oct 2006 12:47:56 +0200 <p>Ah... Bruno...I love him. Those lucious curly locks... he can tickle my ivories anytime...</p> <p>ps I notice a rather disturbing advert for 'slug snail repellent' at the top of my blog. I demand that this be removed immediately. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/10/14/wipes_tear_from_eye~1220217/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>brunostarmakerkids-from-famehttp://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/10/14/wipes_tear_from_eye~1220217/#commentshttp://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/09/07/crouching_tiger_hidden_sandal~1103800/tag:escargot.blog.co.uk,2006-09-06:/2006/09/07/crouching_tiger_hidden_sandal~1103800/Thu, 07 Sep 2006 00:53:48 +0200 <p><a href="http://www.utahartists.com/jessedraper.htm">http://www.utahartists.com/jessedraper.htm</a></p> <p>I GOTSTA get me a pair of these babies.<br> the mooshoes are my favourite <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/09/07/crouching_tiger_hidden_sandal~1103800/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/09/07/crouching_tiger_hidden_sandal~1103800/#commentshttp://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/08/10/i_bet_you_want_to_do_this_yourself_now_d~1027562/tag:escargot.blog.co.uk,2006-08-10:/2006/08/10/i_bet_you_want_to_do_this_yourself_now_d~1027562/Thu, 10 Aug 2006 02:55:31 +0200 <p>this girl took a photo of herself every day for 3 years.<br> cool huh?<br> imagine doing it for like 50 years or something. Now THAT would be trippy.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/08/10/i_bet_you_want_to_do_this_yourself_now_d~1027562/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/08/10/i_bet_you_want_to_do_this_yourself_now_d~1027562/#commentshttp://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/07/20/my_first_random_nicked_questions_blog~973283/tag:escargot.blog.co.uk,2006-07-20:/2006/07/20/my_first_random_nicked_questions_blog~973283/Thu, 20 Jul 2006 03:26:19 +0200 <p>1. How do you like to be kissed?<br> I think 'tenderly' would be the best adjective</p> <p>2. If you could visit your 18-year-old self what advice would you give them?<br> Just do everything exactly as you're doing it and everything is gonna turn out just fine<br> <del>apart from in 4 years time, if you meet a dodgy looking reporter who asks you to share a flat with him DON'T DO IT!!! NOOOOO!!! YOU'LL REGRET IT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!!!!</del></p> <p>3. What was the best present that you ever received?<br> Freedom</p> <p>no wait.... there was this doll with a big pink frilly dress with its own tiny matching pink bunk beds that I got for Christmas one year. I think that was the best, actually.</p> <p>4. What are you most afraid of?<br> Enlightenment</p> <p>5. What do you most desire?<br> Enlightenment</p> <p>6. Would you spend the night alone in a haunted room?<br> Maybe I already do...</p> <p>7. Have you ever nearly died?<br> I die and am reborn in every moment</p> <p>8. Would you be afraid to swim at nightime?<br> Oh no I love it. Especially nekkid <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>9. Do you do the right thing even when you hurt yourself?<br> You never hurt yourself if you do the right thing</p> <p>10. Are you in love?<br> Of course! With me, you, the universe etc</p> <p>11. Is sex overated?<br> On the contrary, it's vastly underrated by anyone who thinks it's simply for procreation and pleasure</p> <p>12. Can you keep secrets?<br> Oh yes. Some of them I keep so well I won't even tell myself</p> <p>13. Did you choose the life you lead?<br> Yep. Every second <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/07/20/my_first_random_nicked_questions_blog~973283/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/07/20/my_first_random_nicked_questions_blog~973283/#commentshttp://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/07/10/a_toast_to_zeds~947361/tag:escargot.blog.co.uk,2006-07-09:/2006/07/10/a_toast_to_zeds~947361/Mon, 10 Jul 2006 00:28:12 +0200 <p>Cheers Mate.<br> we both REALLY wish you were here <del>to help clean up after the party</del></p> <p>see you next week honey<br> x</p> <p><a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/srv/media/media_item.php?item_ID=675676"><img src="http://data2.blog.de/media/676/675676_422e4451bc_m.jpg" align="" alt="IMG_0510" title="IMG_0510" vspace="5" hspace="5"></a> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/07/10/a_toast_to_zeds~947361/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>susanlisahttp://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/07/10/a_toast_to_zeds~947361/#commentshttp://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/07/09/a_momentous_occasion~945245/tag:escargot.blog.co.uk,2006-07-09:/2006/07/09/a_momentous_occasion~945245/Sun, 09 Jul 2006 08:47:22 +0200<p> <small> <a href="http://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/07/09/a_momentous_occasion~945245/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/07/09/a_momentous_occasion~945245/#commentshttp://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/07/04/happy_holidays~931337/tag:escargot.blog.co.uk,2006-07-04:/2006/07/04/happy_holidays~931337/Tue, 04 Jul 2006 08:46:58 +0200 <p>Man, am I out of touch. Today I only found out that England had lost when I was informed of the fact by a 6'5 built-like-a-brick-shithouse-ex-American football player who was holding my feet while I lay helpless on the floor gripping a large plastic ball between my thighs. 'David Beckham's a pussy' he bellowed gleefully. 'Now give me 50 more sit ups. COME ON!!! NOW!!!!'</p> <p>I guess I should have known better than to go on holiday (er sorry I mean 'vacation') with someone who merrily spends her weekends doing this:</p> <p><a href="http://www.blog.co.uk/srv/media/media_item.php?item_ID=663314"><img src="http://data2.blog.de/media/314/663314_156846aa2b_m.jpg" align="" alt="Danskin2006001" title="Danskin2006001" vspace="5" hspace="5"></a></p> <p>We're doing Cardio Kick boxing tomorrow. God help me. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/07/04/happy_holidays~931337/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/07/04/happy_holidays~931337/#commentshttp://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/06/17/blogaholics_anonomous~887779/tag:escargot.blog.co.uk,2006-06-17:/2006/06/17/blogaholics_anonomous~887779/Sat, 17 Jun 2006 02:02:09 +0200 <p>The meeting this week was held at a fine establishment called Tides in the picturesque village of Hoylake. Attended by Zeddds, Stratters, Snail, Mrs Juzzy, and Nipper (yeah, I was surprised at the last two as well - I always thought they were figments of Juzzzy's imagination) the unlikely ensemble sat around a table with their glasses of quadruple vodka & tonics / spring water with mint leaf and lime slice / fresh rodent blood (I'll leave you to match beverage to blogger) all wearing dark shades in a vague attempt at anonymity, taking turns to admit their addiction... </p> <p>'I'm starting to neglect my children' ...<br> 'I'm worried Mabel's going to leave me' ....<br> 'I'm worried Mr Juzzzy's <em>not</em> going to leave me'....<br> 'I can't express my emotions without the aid of smilies'...<br> 'I don't actually laugh any more - I just say 'LOL'...</p> <p>the meeting didn't last long... after a few minutes fingers started twitching involuntarily... eyes started darting around plaintively... one by one, each hastily made their excuses and left, sauntering away with faux nonchalance before dashing off to the nearest computer to blog the whole affair.... </p> <p>(apart from Nipper who was otherwise engaged, red velvet trousers around ankles, shagging the barmaid in the co-ed loos) </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/06/17/blogaholics_anonomous~887779/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>blogaholicshttp://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/06/17/blogaholics_anonomous~887779/#commentshttp://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/06/14/party_update~878144/tag:escargot.blog.co.uk,2006-06-13:/2006/06/14/party_update~878144/Wed, 14 Jun 2006 00:00:16 +0200 <p>well, the party's in full swing now.<br> Due to popular demand, Mrs Juzzy has kindly agreed to provide waitress services... watch out for her, she'll be coming round with a tray of delectable wild rice canapes (but a word of caution... keep your eyes peeled when choosing your snack.. she was observed cutting her toenails in the kitchen earlier. She will also be serving a selection of fresh oysters, caught by our very own Nipper (an accomplished seaman, in case you weren't aware) off the banks of the Mersey this very morn. (But a friendly word of warning... keep your wits about you whilst picking out your chosen mollusc... she has been suffering from a bit of a cold lately and... well... let's just say she was never a one for using hankies. </p> <p>Nipper has also been drafted in as bathroom attendant, should anyone require assistance. He seems to be taking his role very seriously...I don't wish to alarm anyone, but he is currently sporting a pair of rubber gloves and a dangerous glint in his eye.... </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/06/14/party_update~878144/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/06/14/party_update~878144/#commentshttp://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/06/06/6_6_6_time_to_p_a_r_t_a_y~858454/tag:escargot.blog.co.uk,2006-06-06:/2006/06/06/6_6_6_time_to_p_a_r_t_a_y~858454/Tue, 06 Jun 2006 18:52:29 +0200 <p>ok, I've finally finished my <del>torture</del> exams, so I can't put it off any longer... it's time for The Blog Warming Party. And you're all invited, you lovely people (she said most sincerely). I've been out to purchase provisions, and I don't think you'll be disappointed... we have fresh carrot juice (or sparkling mineral water in case anyone fancies something with a little more fizz), brocolli and asparagus crudites with houmous dip, spinach vol-au-vents, and wheatgrass enemas for the more adventurous party-goer....</p> <p>now, I know you won't be interested in this, but Juzzy has taken up residence in the spare room with his personal stash of JD, Blue Sapphire, Babycham, Tennants XXXX, Capstan full-strength, and Domino's Pizza...<br> *hastily dives out of the way as the throng swarms past en-masse* </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/06/06/6_6_6_time_to_p_a_r_t_a_y~858454/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>partyhttp://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/06/06/6_6_6_time_to_p_a_r_t_a_y~858454/#commentshttp://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/05/18/revenge_is_mine~810761/tag:escargot.blog.co.uk,2006-05-18:/2006/05/18/revenge_is_mine~810761/Thu, 18 May 2006 22:00:43 +0200 <p>and there's plenty more where that came from Mista.<br> do you hear me?????? </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/05/18/revenge_is_mine~810761/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>juzzzyhttp://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/05/18/revenge_is_mine~810761/#commentshttp://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/05/18/no_this_isn_t_what_it_looks_like~809370/tag:escargot.blog.co.uk,2006-05-18:/2006/05/18/no_this_isn_t_what_it_looks_like~809370/Thu, 18 May 2006 14:48:01 +0200 <p>can't be arsed to write another blog.<br> Go to<br> <a href="http://eat.rawfood.com/rawfood/lisa">http://eat.rawfood.com/rawfood/lisa</a><br> for further details </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/05/18/no_this_isn_t_what_it_looks_like~809370/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://escargot.blog.co.uk/2006/05/18/no_this_isn_t_what_it_looks_like~809370/#comments